A-Z of the LGBTQ+ vocabulary pt. 1

A-Z of the LGBTQ+ vocabulary pt.1

 

The Progressive Flag

Well, I did explain in the Why am I doing this blog post that I would be writing. As you may have worked out that I am a gay man. As a gay man who came out in 2000 or 1998 to some, I experienced a lot of bullying, prejudice, and discrimination. Most of the time I knew that this was out of fear, hatred and a lack of understanding. The LGBT community was making strides in protesting for equal rights and Section 28 was finally repealed in 2003. Fast forward to 2022, the LGBTQ+ community has grown, and various identities and language is used to identify members in the community. So, in my little old blogger sphere, I thought do an A-Z of the LGBTQ+ vocabuloary.

A

Abro (sexual and romantic)

The Abro Flag

A word used to describe people who have a fluid sexual and/or romantic orientation which changes over time, or the course of their life. Over time, they may describe themselves differently.

 

Ace

The Ace Flag

A term used to describe varying or occasional experiences of sexual attraction. As well as asexuals, demisexuals, and grey-sexuals, this group includes people who identify as asexual. The term asexual might also be used to describe a person's sexual attraction if they are experiencing romantic attraction or occasional sexual attraction.

 

Ace and aro/ace and aro spectrum

The Aro/Ace Flag

A term used to represent a broad variety of individuals who occasionally or at varied levels experience romantic or sexual desire. These terms serve as a catch-all for people who identify in a variety of ways, such as asexual, ace, aromantic, aro, demi, grey, or abro. Along with ace and aro, people may also use terminology like gay, bi, lesbian, straight, and queer to describe the direction of romantic or sexual attraction if and when they experience it. 

 

 Allo (sexual and romantic)

The Allo Flag

Despite not identifying as ace or aro, allo persons are sexually and romantically attracted to others.  As straight is to LGB+ spectrum identities, allo is to ace and aro spectrum identities.  Using language that equalises experience is crucial because otherwise, the opposite of ace and aro becomes "normal," which is stigmatising.

 

Aro

The Aro Flag

An all-encompassing term used to refer to the absence, fluctuating, or sporadic feelings of romantic attraction.  This includes those who identify as aromantic, demiromantic, and grey-romantic.  People who identify as asexual yet occasionally feel sexual desire or occasional romantic interest may also use labels like homosexual, bi, lesbian, straight, and queer to express the nature of their attraction.

 

Aromantic

The Aromantic Flag

A person who is not attracted romantically. While some aromantics are attracted to others, others are not. When describing the direction of their attraction, aromantic people who occasionally feel sexual desire or romantic attraction may also use labels like homosexual, bi, lesbian, straight, and queer in addition to the term "asexual."

 

Asexual

The Asexual Flag

A person who is not attracted to others sexually.  While some asexuals feel romantic desire, others do not.  When describing the direction of their romantic attraction, asexual people who feel it may also use terminology like homosexual, bisexual, lesbian, straight, and queer in addition to the word "asexual."

 

Ally

The Ally Flag

A supporter of the LGBT community who is (usually) straight and/or cis.

 

 

B

Bi

 

Bisexual Flag

Bi is an overall term applied to depict a sexual orientation or/and romantic encounters to more than one gender.

Bi people could define themselves using more than one term including and not constrained to queer, pan, bisexual and other non-monoromantic and non-monosexual individualities.

 

Biphobia

Is the animosity or loathing of a person who identifies as bi.  These negative outlooks, views or beliefs are based on prejudice towards bi people.  This could also be in the form of Biphobic bullying and those who are believed to be bi or are bi are targeted.

​

Butch

Butch Flag

Butch is a phrase used in LBT community to describe someone who expresses themselves in a masculine way.

There are other characteristics within the scope of butch, such as ‘soft butch’ and ‘stone butch’. You shouldn’t use these terms about someone unless you know they identify with them.

​ 

C

Cisgender or Cis

Cisgender Flag

Someone whose gender identity is the same as the sex they were assigned at birth (Male or Female). Non-trans is also used by some people.

 

​Coming out

At the point when an individual first tells somebody/others about their sexual orientation and/or gender identity.

​

D

Deadnaming

Calling somebody by their original name after they have changed their name. This term is often associated with trans individual who have changed their name as part of their transition.

 

Demi (sexual and romantic)

Demisexual Flag

  

An umbrella term used to portray individuals who may only feel sexually or romantically attracted with someone they have framed a close emotional bond with.  People may also use terms such as gay, bi, lesbian, straight and queer in conjunction with demi to explain the direction of their romantic or sexual attraction as they experience it.

 

​F

Femme

Femme Flag

  

Femme is a term used in LGBT community to describe someone who expresses themselves in a feminine manner.

There are other identities within the scope of femme, such as ‘low femme’, ‘high femme’, and ‘hard femme’. You shouldn’t use these terms about someone unless you know they identify with them.

 

​G

Gay

Gay Flag

Refers to a man who has a romantic and/or sexual orientation towards men. The term is widely used for lesbian and gay sexuality - some women identify themselves as gay rather than lesbian. Some non-binary people may well also identify with this term.

 

​Gender

Often denominated of masculinity and femininity, gender is very much culturally determined and assumed to be from the sex assigned at birth.

 

​Gender Dysphoria

Used to explain when a person experiences discomfort, confusion, or distress because there is a disparity between their sex assigned at birth and their gender identity.

​Gender Expression

How a person chooses to express their gender, within the context of societal norms around gender. A person who does not conform to these norms of gender may, however, identify as trans.

 

​Gender identity

A person’s intrinsic sense of their own gender, whether male, female, or something else (see non-binary), which may or may not be consistent to the sex designated at birth.

 

​Gender Reassignment

A way of describing a person’s transition. To go through gender reassignment usually means to go through some sort of medical intervention, but it can also mean changing pronouns, names, dressing differently, and living in their self-identified gender.

Gender reassignment is a characteristic that is protected by the Equality Act (2010).  It is a term of much debate and is one that Stonewall's Trans Advisory Group feels should be reviewed.​

 

Gender Recognition Certificate (GRC)

This legally allows trans people to be recognised by their affirmed gender and the person to be issued with a new birth certificate. Not all trans people will apply for a GRC and you currently must be over 18 to apply.

You do not need a GRC to change your gender markers at work or to legally change your gender on other documents such as your passport.

 

​Gillick Competence

A term used in medical law to decide whether a child (under 16 years of age) can consent to their own medical treatment, without the need for parental permission or knowledge.

 

Grey (sexual and romantic)

Grey Flag

A.K.A. grey-A, this is an umbrella term which describes people who feel attraction occasionally, rarely, or only under certain conditions. Terms such as gay, bi, lesbian, straight and queer in conjunction with grey to explain a person’s sexual or romantic attraction.

The idea of this glossary came from Stonewall  😀

 

When it rains it f**king pours!

This post has taken some time for me to think about and the direction I wanted to take it.  There has been a lot going on in my life recently and it has felt that whenever I take a positive step forward, I get smacked in the face with a wet fish.  I know deep down inside that there is a light at the end of the tunnel per se, but it is difficult to see it now.  

Some people know that my housing situation is not ideal and at one point, there was 3 of us living in a 1-bedroom flat.  So, I have been sleeping on the sofa for over a year.  I asked my mum to move in so that she had someone to look after her, as her mobility has gotten worse due to rheumatoid arthritis.  We are currently living in a top floor flat that has only one entrance/exit that has one flight of stairs going doing three floors.  With my own health problems, I have been struggling with the stairs, but 5 months ago I slipped halfway down these stairs carrying my mum’s walker, as we were off to town.  I had the usual back pain but did some muscle damage in the area that holding my leg to my groin.  

So, I have been having physio for this and must use a walking stick.  I have even been making improvements with my leg.  Well last Wednesday, I woke up and starting to sit on the sofa and I felt something pop in the middle of my back.  I couldn’t event stand straight.  I called the GP and requested an afternoon appointment as I had to take mam to an urgent hospital appointment that couldn’t be missed.  Throughout the day it just got worse, but I grinned and bared it.  I won’t go into the details of the hospital appointment as that is not my story to tell but it was a lot to take in and I had to push my feelings aside and be strong for my mum.  Thanks to Nikita and Shel for taking use to the appointment and back.  You two are life savers, as where I live the taxi to the hospital where the appointment is, was £60 to £70 return. 

 

Well once we got home, I struggled climbing the stairs and it felt like something was rubbing.  I was walking around hunched over as this was the most comfortable position.  I couldn’t even sit down for long.  I went to the GP, and it is normally a 10-minute walk away and I had to stop after so long as my legs were becoming weak.  IT took me over half an hour to get there.  Well, the GP was very thorough in their examinations, but I had weakness in both legs and lost some sensation in them too.  The GP wanted me to go to A&E straight away, but I did decide to go against their advice as I had to keep an eye on my mum.  I just grinned and bared the pain and rested when I could.  I do know that I probably made whatever was wrong with me worse.

 

The next morning and I went to the Prince Charles hospital in Merthyr Tydfil (Different health board but closest hospital with an Accident and Emergency).  I was triaged within 45 minutes and then seen by a doctor within an hour and a half.  He did refer me for an urgent MRI, but he needed an orthopaedic doctor to see what was wrong.  He thought I may have compressed the nerves in my lower spine, and if left untreated it could have serious complications.  He said he would prescribe some pain relief.  Turns out he didn’t do that, and the nurses had to get another doctor to examine me again for the pain relief.  The MRI found that I have multiple slipped discs in my lower back.  After spending 20 hours in A&E, I found out that the one doctor told the on-call surgeon that he offered me to go home but I refused.  I was seen by the head of orthopaedics and was told that I did not require surgery.  I was just ushered out quickly without any further advice.  A nurse did tell me that it would be best to speak to my GP for pain management, so as soon as I left, I got on the phone to the GP.   He called me back as soon as I got through the door, and he said he could see the MRI and it didn’t look good.  Turns out that I have 5 slipped discs and one bulged disc that has caused my spinal column to narrow in that area.  He explained that I would need to be urgently referred to the spinal specialist and the pain team.  He also prescribed me Amitriptyline on a low dose to start working on the nerve pain and to continue my Zapain.

 

A few days later, even though I was taking it easy and only doing the basics at home, I was still in a lot of pain, so called the GP and he called back within 5 minutes.  He wanted to examine me properly and go through everything with me.  He was quite straight to the point and didn’t sugar coat the issue with my back, and I totally appreciate that.  Due to wear the damage is, I may never be able to stand up straight again.  I must slow down which will be difficult as I am like the Duracell Bunny who goes on and on and on.  He did say that there will be good days where I can be walking around as if there is nothing wrong with my back, but there will also be days or even weeks where I get bad flare ups, and I may not even get out of bed.  He also said that due to the flare up I am going through, it has caused muscular pain and has prescribed Naproxen for that.  So, I have to process and come to terms with physically I won’t be that bouncy bunny you will see at a comic con or running around doing his cleaning within an hour or 2.  I have found it takes me 3 to 4 hours just to clean my living room at the moment.  Even walking to the town centre, which is normally a 5-minute walk, it takes me triple that.  It is a lot to take in especially now that I have started the trauma work with my counsellor. 

 

If it wasn’t for the family, boyfriend and friends around me and there are too many to list, but I do not think I would be able to get through all that has happened over the last few years.  So, I think the point of this post is to just show no matter what is thrown your way, there are people out there who will be there and stand by you no matter what.  Even if they do not know the full extent of what is happening in my head or going on with my body, they do not judge me, and they are guiding me through my journey.  It is going to be a long one, but I know I will get there.  I still got to carry on and care for my mum and also start looking after myself more as I have been neglecting my own needs.  I do know that all this is out of my hands and I just have to come to terms with it and I will.  I do have some plans coming up and hoping to go to London Comic Con Winter as I miss my crew family and get my geek on and hopefully get to finally meet Clark Gregg.

 

Lately I have been listening to songs when I have started feeling low and relate certain songs to how I am feeling.  So each blog may have a video of a song I am relating to at the moment.  Even though I have all these "Negative Stressors" around me, I am UNSTOPPABLE!  Click on the link below and just stop and listen to the lyics.

Sia - Unstoppable

 I JUST ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT I AM NOT ALONE!

 

Bondy out!